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BC: Swine Flu Cover for Zombie Uprising?
Remember: Love, light, & especially humor is needed during
times like these. Laughter is always the best medicine. ~~Lifey
There are some of my wonderful BlogCatalog peeps
who've decided (jokingly...I hope :D) that we're probably all
done for, because the virus (swine flu) going around now is
designed specifically to turn the world's population into
- wait for it -
ZOMBIES!
Yep! You read it right, killer zombies. AHHHH KNOW!
*Laughing uncontrollably with tears in eyes!*
I absolutely LOVE the peeps at BlogCatalog. When a
discussion roll gets going, there's no telling in what
direction the posts will go, or how far.
SO, in honor of the recent BlogCatalog discussion entitled:
"Swine flu actually cover for Zombie Uprising"
I now present a partial listing (#12-22) of the basic rules
you'll need to remember and follow should this flu crisis
turn folks around you into zombies. Please visit the
Bread & Circus blog link below for complete
instruction (1-30):
Bread & Circus': Basic Zombie Rules:
Sound Advice from a Law Student:
(Scroll down B&C blog page when you get there)
12) My Dad used to always say to me:
"Remember als, in case of a zombie invasion, you never
have to reload a machete. It's true.
13) Having a zombie escape plan not only saves time, it saves
lives. Ask yourself this, do you know where you're supposed to
meet family and friends when the undead scourge comes? You are
living on the edge my friend.
14) Wear lots of leather. Wear anything that is hard to bite
through. Don't wear so much that you can't run. Girls: Skimpy
clothing is a stupid idea. Your best bet is tight leather.
Yeah. Tight leather. Wear that.
15) Stop shooting zombies in the torso, you jerk. Ammo doesn't
grow on trees.
16) Put your cellphone on vibrate. One ring at the wrong moment can
spell disaster. Also, if it rings while we're having dinner or I'm
talking to you, and you answer it, I am going to invoke rule 2 and
push you off the side of the building.
17) That scary looking dog is not your friend. Do not pet him.
18) If you are covered in zombie blood, take a shower. If someone
were to cut you, and that blood got into the wound, you'd be infected.
If you're infected, then watch out for rule 7. Hopefully someone will
avenge you with rule 6.
19) You will be encouraged to go to some kind of emergency shelter.
This is the most suicidal suggestion you will hear all day. If
everyone jumps off a bridge, are you going to do that too? You're
a freaking tool if you say yes.
20) There will be some people in your group that insist that their
voodoo priest grandfather used to say, "When hell is full, the dead
will walk the Earth." Let me tell you, I knew that voodoo priest too,
and he also used to say "I eat 3 tubs of mayo every week." So take
it with a grain of salt.
21) If one of the people in your group is a pilot or doctor,
protect them at all costs. If you are a pilot or doctor, you
will most certainly be killed by the zombie horde. They tend
to kill the most useful people in the group. Absolutely, under
no circumstances, should you teach the pregnant girl how to
fly the helicopter. You were really asking for it when you did
that, moron.
22) If you light a zombie on fire, you give it another way to
kill you. Now it's a shambling fireball. What was going through
your head when you lit the thing on fire? It's almost like you
want to die... (Continued)
Hmph! Zombies.
They don't travel through time very well either.
Posts that "make sense", huh?
Well, that goal didn't last very long, did it?
Celebrate Life ~ Daily!™ Copyright © S.K.B. [Lifesinger™] All rights reserved.
Bread & Circus excerpt: Copyright © Bread & Circus All rights reserved.
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